Balanced WorkLife Blog

Balanced WorkLife Blog Redwood Trees Remind Me of Value Based Networking. Redwoods grow so large (some 350 ft) and endure so many storms, youd think theyd have large roots that go really deep into the ground. The fact is that they dont. When we were at Muir Park in California I learned that the major roots are only about an inch in diameter. And instead of growing deeper, they grow out. They typically spread 50 to 80 feet. So how do they grow so tall and weather so many storms? Its because the trees grow close to each other and intermingle their root systems! They grow so big and  strong, because  they are  holding onto each other. I think thats a great example that there is strength in connecting with others. image courtesy of nathan wells Balanced WorkLife Blog Communication is at the top of the list of things humans spend a majority of their time engaged in, but it also tends to be one of our greatest weaknesses as well.   A new book called Shut Up and Say Something by Karen Friedman delves into the most common mistakes people make when communicating and then gives personal examples and try this approaches to improving those areas. Below are four of the most common communication mistakes identified in the book. 1.   Lack of or Too Much Eye Contact. Whether you are speaking one on one or to a whole audience, eye contact plays a very noticeable role in communication.   What is too much eye contact?   Where should I look when speaking to a large group?   These are all common questions. To have the greatest impact when speaking one on one, I like to use the rule of 75/25.   For 75% of the time you should be looking at your listener, any more and theyll start to feel uncomfortable, any less and theyll feel you arent confident.   The other 25% you should be looking at something you or the listener is demonstrating. For example, if you are in an interview it can be your resume as you point to a job experience, it can be your hands as you make gestures, and likewise your listeners hands when they speak. When speaking to a large room you want to make sure you are making eye contact with each corner, side and space.   This helps the audience feel like they are included and your speech isnt just for the back middle section. 2.   Speaking Too Fast We are seldom aware of this ourselves, but when speaking to an audience we tend to go quicker.   Yet, studies have shown that audiences prefer to have a slower pace when listening. Its important to understand the power of pausing, give your audience a chance to really understand what it is the you are emphasizing.   Think of the slow relaxed pace Morgan Freeman uses when he narrates in a movie like The Shawshank Redemption.   He has you listening to every word. 3.   Not Sharing Examples One of the greatest tools that separates the strongest communication from the weak is use of examples.   What would books like The World is Flat, Outliers, or Freakonomics be without the examples they share?   Theyd be flat, dull, and uninteresting. Likewise our own communication success increases significantly just by sharing examples.   These can vary from anecdotes, case studies, personal experiences, or metaphors.   Think of examples as the pepper to your conversation.   It adds the right amount of flavor to turn a boring dish to a tasty one. 4.   Using Jargon Ever spoke to another business person who acted as if you understood every industry acronym out there?   What did you do?   You probably sat there and acted like you understood every word because you didnt want to feel stupid for asking what an HDSR was. Yet, when we are passionate or skilled in a niche, we tend to do the exact same thing.   People dont mind learning what it is you are passionate about, they just want to understand it. Take your audiences perspective when communicating.   Usually it is better to be safe then sorry when using jargon.   Even if a few of your listeners understand the terms you use, chances are a good percent of them wont. How About You? What common communication mistakes have you noticed and what tips do you have?   Leave comments below. image paulbence Balanced WorkLife Blog Do you ever get discouraged? I know I do at times. I think everyone does from time to time. Life often brings us setbacks and if were not careful the devils wedge of discouragement brings us down. The Devils Wedge Do you know the story about the wedge? It tells of the devil prospering as a result of many wars. Convinced that his superiority was already established, he decided that he no longer needed to work so hard, so he advertised his equipment for sale. A counter full of articles greeted the customers: Gossip, Procrastination, Lies, Hatred, Prejudice, Selfishness, Greed and many other items. But there was one item in the shape of a wedge that was not for sale: Discouragement. The devil said, If times get good and I want to get back into business, I can always win men and women with this. It is my favorite tool. With discouragement I can pry open and get inside a persons consciousness when I could not get near them with any other of my tools. When I discourage people I can easily defeat them. The devil never did sell that piece of equipment. Mr. Stones Good Habit The billionaire W. Clement Stone, formed the habit in the early days of his career of saying, Thats good! whenever anything unexpected happened, good or bad. Mostly it was something good. But even when he learned of a something bad, he smiled and said, Thats good. His associates would shake their heads in resigned disbelief, while hed move forward, look into the problem and find what was good in it. Invariably, some elements in the situation could be turned to advantage, and he would find them and, more importantly, act on them. I cant recall when I first heard of this habit of Stones. But I liked it because that is what I do whenever I face a setback. I spring into action. I look for the lessons and make changes that will turn it to an advantage. Our Dog Days Everyone has a day or even a  a number of days in a row  when nothing seems to go right. But if we understand that something good can usually be found in almost any situation, well go to work on the most important part of the problem, the one that can be turned to advantage. Self-pity or inactivity cannot possibly help the situation. The only rational course to follow is to re-evaluate and move forward. Being human qualifies us for some occasional pressure by the wedge of discouragement, but we have within us the strength to pull away and use it to our advantage. The next time youre tempted to feel discouraged about something, try taking the attitude of W. Clement Stone. Simply say, Thats good, and then start finding out what is good about it. Each time, the choice is ours to make. Abraham Lincoln said, Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end, you are sure to succeed. Persistence, Patience and Confidence: Three of the greatest weapons we have to fight the devils wedge. Any successful salesman will tell you the number one secret to being a successful salesman is patience, persistence and confidence. Most successful businesses are not built in short time spans, but with much patience,  persistence and confidence. Most marriages need a lot of patience and persistence to survive the storms that can weaken and even destroy them. Great financial wealth is lost for impatient investors. Whenever you face discouragement, keep in mind these next three things: First, discouragement is a form of self-pity, a destructive, devils emotion we can all do without. And the most effective antidote for self-pity is intelligent action. Second, within any discouraging situation, theres almost always lurking an opportunity for growth, maturity, and future success. Theres something good about it. And, finally, discouragement needs to be kept in its proper perspective. What may at the moment seem like the end of the world wont seem so important in 10 days or wont be very important in 10 months. Take the long-range view and you cant be defeated by momentary setbacks. The Chinese have a saying that if you live with a disaster for three years, it will turn into a blessing. Three Things to Do Next: 1.   Comment: What do you do when you get discouraged?   What advice do you have? 2.   Share: If you like this story, share our link Work Life Balance on your facebook, twitter, blog or site. 3.   Take this Exercise: The article talks a lot about being positive.   Take a recent discouragement youve faced and think about what good might come from it. image courtesy of pink sherbert photography Balanced WorkLife Blog You’re in the weekly department meeting when Donna, VP of Finance asks you a question about the effectiveness of the marketing event that has come in over budget, and she wants an immediate answer. You’ve got an answer, that’s not the problem; often the problem is how to articulate the answer logically, without rambling; to ensure you look in complete control. Use PREPO to organize your thoughts quickly and concisely. POINT. First, make your point. This is your major statement and should cover only one idea. “Actually Donna, I believe the event was extremely well received and well worth the cost.” REASON. Next, give your reason for making the point. By answering the question, “Why do you say that?” you can expand on your first statement. “I say that because I heard a number of both prospects and customers comment on how it was both entertaining and informative and it gave them a new perspective of our company.” EVIDENCE. Third, offer supporting information. You might include data, demographics and examples that reinforce your point. Evidence should be specificâ€"it’s where the proof lies. “For example, John Stanton, CEO of ABC Furniture, said _______. In addition, the preliminary results from the post-event survey are indicating that we’ve generated at least 20 very promising leads which we’ve turned over to sales who are following them up as we speak. POINT. Now make your point again. Good evidence will lead you directly back to your main point. Use the same words, or better yet, rephrase your point but don’t change your content or attitude. “So, I believe that when the dust settles, the investment we made in this event will have an extremely good ROI and we will want to consider running it again.” OUTCOME. This is a quick, action oriented wrap-up. Use it to state an action you’ll take, something for your audience to do or simply to balance and close your argument. “If you can get me the final costs associated with the event, I will have an ROI report for you in terms of the leads closed by the end of the quarter.” This technique, if practiced, is an excellent way to handle questions from an audience or meeting participants. It is also extremely useful when presenting a new or potentially controversial idea to any group. image courtesy of wwarby Balanced WorkLife Blog You cant help but notice there are some positive signs that were slowly but surely coming out of this recession. And, that means that as the job market improves many companies are going to find themselves looking at empty chairs as their disengaged, frustrated workers move to greener pastures. We are currently working with a couple of clients who are taking steps today to try to head off this potential exodus. Are You One of the Herd? Which brings me to a related point How many of you out there are not only disengaged and frustrated with your job but also with your life? During this tough economy and job market, many of your expectations may have gone unmet. Whether its job satisfaction, career development or overall life success, things may not be going your way. When this happens, there is a natural tendency to disengage, to unplug. You go through the motions, but part of your mind is elsewhere, unfocused. Are you just going through the motions? Or do you live with purpose. Have you reflected on your aspirations and then written them as goals for all aspects of your life; work, career and personal? How to Get Engaged in Life Its impossible to be disengaged in either your job or your life if youve established a set of compelling long and short-term goals. With these in place getting up in the morning is a joy; another day to tackle the actions that will propel you into your amazing, planned for and purposeful future! Sure there will be set backs but when you have goals you can see what the next step is to overcome those barriers. We are always surrounded by a host of opportunities to create a better life. Yet, when you are completely absorbed by the day to day, when we focus on the trivial things that keep us trapped in the status quo, those opportunities to change our lives just slip by. When the activities you are engaged in are not aligned with your aspirations for your life, you dont get the results that you had hoped for. What are you focusing on? Do the behaviors you engage in bring you the results you want? Do they bring you a better life? Engaged people achieve their goals and life aspirations because the show up every day mentally and physically motivated to deliver extraordinary results. Your world abounds with the information you need to make quantum leaps toward a dramatically better life. The keys to success are in book stores, resources on the internet, in CDs and DVDs, some TV, and in the people that you meet. There are ample opportunities to immerse yourself in learning what you need to know to be totally engaged in life and create the fantastic life that you want. Some people choose to take that path of learning and enrichment. In my role of executive coach, I find it easy to identify the people who want a better life. Theyre the ones who seek out materials, books, coaches, and opportunities to develop better work and personal leadership skills. They listen to every word, collect insights and apply them to their work and lives. They devour educational CDs in their car to learn and positively condition their mind. They actually change how they think and engage in new more productive and effective behaviors. Do a Self Analysis So the question becomes, are you copping out watching a lot of TV, wasting time engaged in activities that dont lead to the life you want? Are you ignoring and passing up opportunities to improve yourself? Or, are you engaged in a healthy balance of work, physical exercise, and learning and skill development that will lead to greater success and the better life you want? If youre not getting the things you want in life, its because youre not taking the actions necessary to get them. Remember, its always your choice! Three Things to Do Next 1.   Comment: Do you see the likelihood of a worker migration in your office?   How will this affect you? 2.   Share: If you like this copy our link Get Ready for the Great Worker Migration and share it on Facebook, Twitter, your blog or site. 3.   Reflect: Take some time to think about some of the questions we asked.   What actions can you take to head your life where you want it to go? image courtesy of DavidDennis Balanced WorkLife Blog When youre not fully engaged, your efforts are scattered. You dont do your best; which hurts you, your family, your employer, your colleagues and your clients. Your personal and work lives suffer. Youre not using your talents to their fullest. Youre wasting time and are unproductive. You arent making a difference. In short, youre sabotaging your life. We all have days when we dont run at full speed. However, if youre habitually disengaged you need to find ways to snap out of it. Your Personal Engagement Quiz Here are some statements to test whether you are really engaged in life or not. Put a circle around whichever word applies True, False or Not Sure I am dissatisfied with my life, and I havent done anything concrete to resolve it. True False Not Sure I tend to complain, put the blame on others or have a cynical attitude. True False Not Sure At work, I have one foot out the door, keeping my options open, but never acting on them. True False Not Sure I jump from task to task without really completing anything or making a difference. True False Not Sure My performance at work and at home just meets expectations, or worse. True False Not Sure My mind wanders during my workday, and I have trouble focusing and delivering on projects and responsibilities. True False Not Sure I feel outdone or outclassed by colleagues or friends when Im discussing work-related things. I dont have a lot to say. True False Not Sure My  personal image  is weak, sloppy or lacking direction. True False Not Sure I dont have a plan as to what my next steps are from now, going forward. True False Not Sure Change and Engage If you answered True to one or more of the statements above, take some immediate steps to get engaged: Change your attitude. A reality-check can do wonders in changing behavior. Throw yourself into everything you take on. Do your best. Immerse yourself and see what happens. Identify what motivates you and see if you can inject more of those motivations into what you do. Find the good in your situation. When you must do something that you dont like or want to do, ask yourself what good can come of it. What are all the aspects of your life that are positive? Be grateful for what you have. Focus on how you can be successful in the current environment. Balanced WorkLife Blog “The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. â€"Sir Winston Churchill What the mind can imagine, you can make happen. Your Powerful Imagination During a tour of duty in Vietnam, Major James Nesmeth was captured and held prisoner in a tiny cell for seven years. To keep sane, he mentally practiced his golf game. Every day he would imagine being at the first tee at his country club. He would imagine the weather, the feel of the club and the grass at his feet. He would look at the ball and imagine the perfect swing. Soon after he was freed and returned to the United States, he went to his country club and played a round of golf. He knocked 20 strokes off his game the first time out! Without touching his clubs for seven years, he practiced every day and improved his game while a prisoner of war. Many athletes, Olympic divers, figure skaters use their imagination to practice their form perfectly so that when they are actually performing their minds send the body the practiced signals for a perfect performance. The same principle applies to your success. Your ability to imagine is directly related to your ability to be successful. You can use your imagination in many ways. Goal Achievement When you imagine successfully achieving your goals, your chances of reaching those goals are greater. Let’s say you have a goal of being promoted to the next level in your job. Think through who will have a say in who will get promoted and consider all the prerequisites needed for that job. Plan out a strategy for how you will prove to those stakeholders that you’re the right person. When you take these steps you show that you’ve thought through the issues, you’ll exude confidence and you increase the likelihood that you will be considered for the next opening. Problem Solving When faced with a difficult situation on your road to success, you can take one of two mental paths: 1.  Fill your mind with bad scenarios, anxiety or excuses. 2.  Think of a good scenario, work out solutions and mentally rehearse a plan. For example, you have a critical presentation to make to a new prospect, the XYZ Inc. This presentation will be the deal maker or deal breaker. There will be 6 people from the company a couple of whom you know are vested in staying with their current supplier. That night, you cant sleep. You worry about how to win over this prospect. You’re concerned that they might not like you or they’ll bring up the disaster install you’re still working on at ABC Inc. While thinking up how you can explain why that install is going badly, you change your mind and decide to face the problem head on. You imagine bringing up the issue first. You mentally review the presentation and how you can weave in the story of ABC Inc. and lessons learned. You list everything you fear the prospect may say or do and work out your best responses to each. You create a plan. You relax and fall asleep. When you then meet with XYZ Inc., you are prepared. The prospects feel your confidence; calmly listen to your presentation and come away appreciating your integrity in not hiding the ABC situation. Self Discipline You are never on time for meetings. People bring reading material to your meetings as they know a 2:00 P.M. meeting will actually start at 2:15 P.M. To change this, you imagine yourself running ahead of schedule. You notice how you are better focused. You see yourself scheduling meetings based on reality. You even plan responses to everyones surprised looks when you show up on time. Other Uses Imagine your next vacation. Where will you go? What will the weather be like? How will you feel afterwards? Imagine bigger goals for yourself. What would you want to accomplish if you could accomplish anything at all? What are you really capable of doing? What would be a fantastic, gigantic goal that you can possibly achieve? Imagine accomplishing each and every goal you have. You can probably imagine many other uses. Simply using your imagination lowers your stress and makes your life more positive. Imagine yourself using this technique and then do it! Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. â€"J.M Barrie image courtesy of Juliana Coutinho Balanced WorkLife Blog Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling  five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends and spirit, and youre keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. Brian Dyson, CEO Coca Cola Enterprises At The Balanced WorkLife Company we take a holistic approach to working with our clients who are juggling these facets of their lives. If you’re committed to achieving your ultimate potential, you are trying to balance within and between three main areas of your life: your job, your career, and your quality of life. As a corporate striver it is critical that in your job you: Balance your time between strategic and operational endeavors. Focus your greatest energy on your strengths and find ways to compensate for your limitations. In your career you must: Recognize that jobs are “temporary” assignments; balance your focus between your current job and planning for your next one, inside or outside your organization. Focus on developing and maintaining an extended network. The time to build contacts is not when you are looking for the next position. And to maintain a quality of life you need to: Balance your time between yourself, your family and your friends. Focus on your health and fitness so that you walk not wheel yourself into your 90th birthday party. Balance your spending between instant gratification and long-term financial security.